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When the hot flashes started, we reached for cooling sprays. When the mood swings hit, we tried supplements. When sleep abandoned us, we bought every pillow on the market.
But the most powerful tool in our menopause toolkit? It wasn't something we could buy.
It was how we chose to think about what was happening to us.
While products certainly help (and trust us, we're committed to finding the best ones), we've discovered that the right mindset shifts can transform how you experience this transition. Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves about menopause can cause more suffering than the symptoms themselves.
Here are seven mindset shifts—what we call our "Menopause Mantras"—that have been game-changers for us and the women in our community.
For generations, menopause has been framed as an ending—the end of fertility, youth, vitality. But what if we reframed it as a beginning?
This phase isn't a life sentence of discomfort. It's a transition—sometimes challenging, yes—but one that leads to a new chapter with its own unique gifts. Women post-menopause often report feeling more confident, more focused on their own needs, and less concerned with others' opinions.
Try this: When symptoms flare, remind yourself: "This moment is temporary. I am in transition. And on the other side is a version of me with wisdom, clarity, and zero money spent on tampons."
It's easy to view hot flashes, mood swings, and fatigue as enemies to be vanquished. But what if they're actually messengers trying to tell us something important?
A hot flash might be signaling that you're stressed and need to pause. Mood swings might be highlighting relationships or situations that no longer serve you. Fatigue might be your body's way of saying you've been ignoring your need for rest.
Try this: The next time a symptom appears, ask it: "What are you trying to tell me?" Then listen with curiosity instead of judgment. You might be surprised by the wisdom your body is offering.
In our productivity-obsessed culture, rest often feels like a luxury we can't afford. But during perimenopause and menopause, rest isn't optional—it's essential.
Your body is doing complex hormonal choreography behind the scenes, which requires significant energy. This isn't the time to push through fatigue or sacrifice sleep. This is the time to honor your body's increased need for recovery.
Try this: Release the guilt around rest by reminding yourself: "My body is working hard even when I'm not. Resting isn't lazy—it's supporting the important transitions happening within me."
Weight shifts. Skin changes. Hair thins (or appears in new places!). These physical transformations can be challenging to accept in a society that equates youth with beauty.
But your body isn't betraying you—it's evolving, as it has through every stage of your life. And just as you wouldn't shame a teenager for developing or a pregnant woman for growing, you don't deserve criticism for these natural changes.
Try this: Place your hands on the part of your body you're most critical of and say: "Thank you for carrying me through this life. You are changing, as you're designed to do. I choose to marvel at your ability to adapt rather than fight against your natural evolution."
Society often treats menopausal women as if they're suddenly less valuable, less vibrant, less relevant. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Historically, post-menopausal women were the wisdom-keepers of their communities—respected elders whose life experience made them invaluable advisors and leaders. Many cultures still honor this tradition, recognizing that a woman's power doesn't diminish after menopause—it transforms and often expands.
Try this: When you feel invisible or diminished, remind yourself: "I am entering my wisdom era. I have earned every gray hair, every laugh line, every insight. My value isn't decreasing—it's evolving into something even more powerful."
If there's one superpower that often emerges during menopause, it's the ability to set boundaries. As estrogen (the "tend and befriend" hormone) decreases, many women find themselves less willing to people-please and more able to prioritize their own needs.
This shift can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you've spent decades putting others first. But learning to say "no" without guilt or explanation might be one of menopause's greatest gifts.
Try this: The next time you're about to agree to something out of obligation rather than desire, pause and ask yourself: "Would I do this if I didn't feel guilty saying no?" If the answer is no, practice saying: "I'm not able to do that" without adding justifications.
Perhaps the most powerful mindset shift of all is recognizing that you're not alone in this journey. Millions of women are navigating the same challenges, asking the same questions, and seeking the same support.
When we view other women as competitors for limited resources (attention, beauty, opportunity), we isolate ourselves from our greatest source of strength. But when we connect authentically with other women, sharing our experiences without shame, we create a network of support that makes everything more manageable.
Try this: Reach out to another woman in your life who might be experiencing menopause. Share something you've been struggling with and ask about her experience. Create space for honesty without judgment. Remember: vulnerability is contagious, and it's the fastest path to genuine connection.
Changing your mindset doesn't happen overnight. These practices can help reinforce your new perspective:
It's important to remember that embracing these mindset shifts doesn't mean ignoring the very real challenges of menopause or refusing practical solutions.
This isn't about toxic positivity or denying your struggles. It's about holding two truths simultaneously: yes, menopause can be difficult AND it can be a doorway to a more authentic, empowered chapter of your life.
We call this the "both/and" approach:
At Shebang, we're committed to supporting you through this journey with both practical solutions (hello, carefully curated subscription boxes!) and perspective shifts that help you navigate this transition with more grace and less suffering.
Because while we can't control every hot flash or mood swing, we can control the story we tell ourselves about what's happening. And sometimes, changing the narrative changes everything.
Ready for more support on your menopause journey? Join our community and subscribe to monthly Shebang boxes filled with products we've personally tested and approved for women navigating this transition. Because you deserve both practical solutions AND a supportive mindset.
